"Already a winged fiend was at his throat and there was no time to draw and fire his other pistol.  Kane saw, in a maze of thrashing wings, a devilish, semi-human face--he felt those wings battering at him--he felt cruel talons sink deep into his breast; then he was dragged off his feet and felt empty space beneath him.

The winged man had wrapped his limbs about the Englishman's legs, and the talons he had driven into Kane's breast muscles held like fanged vises.  The wolf-like fangs drove at Kane's throat but the Puritan gripped the bony throat and thrust back the grisly head, while with his right hand he strove to draw his dirk.  The bird-man was mounting slowly and a fleeting glance showed Kane that they were already high above the trees.  The Englishman did not hope to survive this battle in the sky, for even if he slew his foe, he would be dashed to death in the fall.  But with the innate ferocity of the fighting Anglo-Saxon he set himself grimly to take his captor with him."

(Robert E. Howard. The Savage Tales of Solomon Kane. New York: Ballantine, 1998: 291)

(image via The Pulp Reader)

Solomon Kane screens at TIFF on: Wednesday, Sept. 16 11:59PM - RYERSON / Thursday Sept. 17 3:15 PM - SCOTIABANK 1

How about getting ready for Solomon Kane with some pulpy, pulpy dialog like, “A strong man is needed to combat Satan here! Therefore I go, who have defied him many a time!” 

Hell, how about a whole section from "The Castle of Devil":

Kane sighed. "It has fallen upon me, now and again in my sojourns through the world, to ease various evil men of their lives.  I have a feeling that it will prove thus with the Baron."

"Name of two devils!" swore Silent in amazement.  "You speak as if you were a judge on a bench and Baron Von Staler bound helpless before you, instead of being as it is--you but one blade and the Baron surrounded by men-at-arms."

"The right is on my side," said Kane somberly.  "And right is mightier than a thousand men-at-arms.  But why all this talk?  I have not yet seen the Baron, and who am I to pass judgment unseen.  Mayhap the Baron is a righteous man." More...

I never went to my high school prom and I've never felt bad about it either, despite all the sit coms and YA romantic comedies making them seem like the best night in a girl's life. Even in my tender years, I knew what happened at proms.  Bad things--not just pictures of a dress I'd regret or peach schnapps or awkwardness.

No, bad things like pigs' blood, hellhounds and murderous revenge. And if you hadn't done something like taunted a girl to her apparent death so that later you watch your friends die in inventive ways till finally you are killed yourself, then it's the pig's blood crowning for you. A choice between murderous vengeance or pig's blood followed by murderous vengeance isn't much of a choice at all.

Or if it's neither, there's always hellhounds hurtling up from the hellmouth your high school is built on. And, by the looks of it, things won't go much better for the prom king in The Loved Ones, though I wish him well.  There's just no escape from an angry and/or wronged prom queen, not even one from 1957. 

Jamie Lee Curtis is subtly warning you.

 It's just not going to go well. Really. 

Hellhounds are a constant danger!

The Loved Ones screens at TIFF on: Sunday September 11, 11:59PM - RYERSON / Tuesday September 15, 3:30PM - SCOTIABANK THEATRE 2 / Thursday September 17, 6:30PM - VARSITY 4

With George Romero's Survival of the Dead screening tonight, all the undead want to look their best. There are several sites to help you (like here and here), but here's a few basic tips for zombies and vampires alike.

Want the ghastly pallor of death? Avoid clown white. Unless you are a vampire or zombie clown, which are admittedly the most frightening of the undead. If you aren't, try a foundation or base 2 shades lighter than your own skin.

Try other colors for shading than black. Use a red or brown eyeliner or eyeshadow to enhance pallor, sunken eyes and cheeks. Try a blue lipstick for bruising and cyanotic chic. Yellow's good for sick and ready to blow a viral load. Go easy on the theatrical grease paint.

Go Green! Yes, from EC comics to Zombie Lake to Harry Knuckles and the Treasure of the Aztec Mummy, green zombies are a classy and classic look! Use all the black and red you want. Huge black raccoon eyes emphasizing your orbits are where it's at. Consider stopping all color at the jawline and bringing raspberry or strawberry jam for spitting.

 And unless, you're looking for the Zombie Lake look, avoid water based pigments, especially tempera or watercolor paints. Stick with the theatrical oil based paints and put them over a base of facial cleanser or tiny amount of cold cream.

Paul Stanley says, “Powder it, baby!” and “Don't Touch!” no matter how itchy it gets and you shouldn't doubt Paul Stanley's cosmetic advice. Well, unless, Alice Cooper, Marilyn Manson or Rob Zombie disagree.

 Rob Zombie is ready to evaluate your look.

The Toronto Zombie Walk terrorizes TIFF on Saturday September 12 starting at 3pm in Alexandra Park and ending at 6pm at Yonge/Dundas Square with a free screening of Night of the Living Dead. (And starts up again in the Midnight Madness line).

George A. Romero's Survival of the Dead screens at TIFF on:  Saturday September 12, 11:59PM - RYERSON / Monday September 14, 12:30PM - SCOTIABANK THEATRE 2

Tomorrow at 6PM, George A Romero will be at Yonge and Dundas Square to welcome the "Special Director's Cut Edition" of the Toronto Zombie Walk, and to introduce a free screening of his original zombie classic/masterpiece, Night of the Living Dead.

More important than that though, the event is to celebrate the fact that Mr. Romero after years of living in Toronto has finally got his hands (through legal or illegal means, I can't verify) on a Canadian Citizenship card!  Isn't that crazies? (sic, and I'm sorry for that)

To commemorate the event and to welcome him to Canada officially, an award (pictured left) will be presented to Mr. Romero.  The text engraved on the base went through many drafts and many discarded suggestions.  The final inscription is below, but personally I think that my ignored (sniffles) suggestion would have looked much better below the bloody zombie hj that rests atop it.

George keep our land gory and diseased.
O Canada, we stand on guard for zombies.
- O Canada (revised)
TIFF and the Toronto Zombie Walk congratulate longtime Torontonian, George A. Romero on becoming a Canadian citizen.
Presented on September 12th, 2009.

Here's what made the award in the end.  It's okay, I guesssss.

And don't forget that the North American Premiere of GEORGE A ROMERO'S SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD is later that night at... When else? Midnight.

Ioncinema! profiles The Loved Ones director Sean Byrne. He talks about filmmaking, his favorite films and a little more about The Loved Ones.

"[I] woke up one morning thinking what if I fused Carrie and Evil Dead, bringing the Prom to the cabin and making its very traditions – the decorations, the dress up, the dancing and, of course, the crowning of the King and Queen – the instruments of torture. I got this image of a bloodied teenager in a tuxedo tied to a chair in the middle of a balloon littered floor. So then I started asking, who is this kid, why is he here and how’s he going to get out?"

He also talks a little bit about the film's eclectic influences from the fighting spirit of Rocky to the dreamy surrealism of David Lynch's films.

"In The Loved Ones, our damaged hero is dragged from the literal world into something vividly surreal. In a way it mixes the slick Bruckheimer/Simpson hero’s journey model with the surreal and subconscious elements you might expect from a Lynch film."

Ong Bak 2 has no connection whatsoever to Ong Bak aside from it starring Tony Jaa. So if you haven't seen Ong Bak yet, you can wait until TIFF is over to rent it.

[REC]2's a slightly stranger case. [REC]2 takes place fifteen minutes after the end of [REC], so it's ideal if you've seen the original film but if you haven't... Have you seen Quarantine? Quarantine is an American remake of [REC] (and a pretty faithful one at that) so if you've seen it, you're set. Be the envy of all your Quarantine-loving friends and find out what happens next. Hint: A badass SWAT team with big guns enter the building to evict the building's remaining tenants.

[Rec]2 screenings:

Ong Bak 2: The Beginning screenings: 

This time next week, expect to see me doing lunges, drinking protein shakes, and generally channeling Brock Lesnar in my pre-Festival prep routine (minus the grunting and pounding my ham hands into someone's face).  Around the internets, lots of folks are doing the same! Here`s the buzz going around on some of this year`s terrifying and titillating selections!

Harry Knowles of Ain't It Cool News had nothing but love for Solomon Kane back in May:

FEARnet has an interview up with Daybreakers directors (and twin brothers), Peter and Michael Spierig, who previously brought Undead to Midnight Madness in 2002. They talk about vampire movies, their fears and how Daybreakers isn't influenced by I am Legend, the book or the movie at all.

"[T]he fact that we're doing a vampire movie is daunting, because there's so many of them out there. How do you do something that's different? And how do you make it more than just another b-movie, which the genre is? That's the big dilemma. We worked to try and do something different, which hopefully it is."

 Daybreakers screens at TIFF on:  Friday September 11, 11:59pm - RYERSON / Sunday September 13, 12:30pm SCOTIABANKTHEATER 2.

Daybreakers, the Spierig Brothers' new film, imagines a vampire dystopia with bloodsucking captains of industry. Science fiction writer Peter Watts has a similar vision, albeit reversed with a pharmaceutical company engineering vampires for their untapped market potential. What could go wrong?

"Peter Watts narrates his brilliant slideshow that explains vampires from an evolutionary perspective, and then explains how humans can profit by harnessing their predators. Watts brings his experience as a scientist and his talent as a science-fiction writer to bear in creating this biting satire." (via  Jim Munroe at the Cultural Gutter).

Daybreakers screens at TIFF on: Friday September 11, 11:59 - RYERSON / Sunday September 13, 11:59 - SCOTIABANK THEATRE 2. 

Jennifer's Body star Megan Fox has some wise words for kids experiencing the pain of peer pressure in high school.

But the pressure to conform doesn't stop at high school. If, like most women, you find yourself in the thrall of what some ritual specialist calls, "demonic possession," do what feels right to you, whether that's killing and eating all the boys in your school, swallowing guys' souls

or even having sex with Rick Moranis.

It's all about being true to yourself and facing yourself in the mirror, assuming you still have a reflection.

That's right, girlfriend, walk your own way!

 

Jennifer's Body screens at TIFF on: Thursday, September 10th, 11:59 - RYERSON / Saturday, September 12, 12:00pm - Ryerson / Thursday, September 17th, 8:30pm - VARSITY.

Seems like the Survival of the Dead promo character interview, "Survival of the Dead:  Sarge" is back infecting the internets, along with our brains.

George A. Romero's Survival of the Dead screens at TIFF on: Saturday September 12, 11:59PM - RYERSON & Monday September 14, 12:30PM - SCOTIABANK THEATRE 2

One of the dark horse contenders in this year's Midnight Madness line-up is The Loved Ones. Only one audience has seen this before and that was at the recent Melbourne International Film Festival where they reportedly screamed, laughed and cheered - just what you want in a Midnight Madness film! It's the directorial debut by Sean Bryne and you'll be learning more about him in the days to come on this blog. And for all those goth gals, the lead actor Xavier Samuel is destined to blow up big as a teen heart throb due to his casting in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. 

Aussie film freak and Fangoria correspondant Michael Helms (the man who told me I HAD to check out last year's Acolytes) just published a chat he had with Sean about the film. Read all about it at Fangoria!

The Loved Ones screens at TIFF on: Sunday September 11, 11:59PM - RYERSON / Tuesday September 15, 3:30PM - SCOTIABANK THEATRE 2 / Thursday September 17, 6:30PM - VARSITY 4

Sexy bee lady or mankiller?